If Only
by Myzz Azatina
Summary: -Completed- Hermione pines away for her love.
1. Where's That Genie?

If Only  
  
A/N: I don't think I'll be writing multiple-chaptered stories anytime soon, too tedious and stuff like that. I'll be writing ficlets from now on, maybe I'll write something longer when I get a good plot that I can expand. I got the title from Tiffany's song If Only, you should listen to it but it has nothing to do with the story. Hope you like it! R/R!  
  
A pair of black Mary Janes tread along the plush maroon carpet, making disappearing indents in it.  
  
Hogwarts Head Girl, Hermione Leah Granger, was out after hours, alone. Just a few months before, she would never have committed such an offence without her two best friends dragging her along with them, but that was before it happened.  
  
Hermione stepped silently, a feather-light piece of silvery cloth draped over her petite build. She had been perfectly normal before it happened. She was what everyone knew her as, mousy, bookish Hermione Granger. She usually had her face hidden behind an encyclopedia-thick book, claiming that she was only doing some light reading. She always looked the same, her hair always in a neat, tight bun, nothing very fancy. She hardly ever thought about make-up, clothes or boys.  
  
Well, perhaps she did go through a big change in the 4th year for the Yule Ball, but that was partially out of spite for Harry and Ron. They had seemed like as if they hadn't realized that she was a girl until they found out Viktor Krum had asked her to the Yule ball. Unfortunately, the change hadn't lasted long and she was back to her normal self quicker than you could say 'Transfiguration'.  
  
Contrary to popular belief, Hermione never had feelings for Romanian Quidditch superstar, Viktor Krum. He had pursued her but had been rejected. Sure, she had enjoyed the first time someone had admired her but he just wasn't her type.  
  
She had also dated her best friend, Ronald, for a while, but he was too hyper and lively for her. They fell out after a week.  
  
Looking down at the old, yellowing piece of parchment she had clutched in her hands, she saw, scribbled in tiny but neat script, the password to a room forbidden to her. But that was it. She was rebelling because it happened. She was changing for real this time, because Hermione Leah was in love.  
  
She stood there for a moment, pondering if she should continue. She loved everything about the room's owner. Everything from his smile to the warm pools of melted chocolate that resided in his eyes. She especially loved his husky, almost growl-like voice. Maybe you would call it infatuation, but Miss Granger knew very well that she was madly in love.  
  
She drew in a deep breath and seriously considered turning back and going to her dormitory. Her heart was beating madly and her palms were slick with perspiration. She inhaled another deep breath and mumbled 'Wolfsbane' to the portrait of a grand looking gentleman sitting in a large red chair. It swung open and she tiptoed into the dark red furnished room.  
  
She looked around, taking in her surroundings. Then, she turned to the large, cushy bed by the side of the room, it was empty, and she hadn't expected that. She took off the cloak and folded it neatly over her arm, making part of her arm disappear. There were dozens of photographs, on the walls, bureaus and side tables. Smiling and laughing people were in those photographs.  
  
She lay on the bed and inhaled the scent from the covers. She loved the way he smelt, musky and mysterious. She sighed and took the picture from the bedside table. The man she was pining away for was in the picture, he looked much younger, a wide grin plastered onto his face. Her heart broke every time he passed her in the hallways, knowing she could not have him.  
  
She made a copy of the picture and slipped it under her cloak.  
  
"I wish you would love me like I love you. I wish we could be together. I wish I wouldn't hurt this bad. That's three wishes, now where's that genie, " She whispered to no one in particular.  
  
"Even a genie could not make you love me. Not even cupid. I'm just stupid, bookworm Granger. No one will ever love me that way," she continued.  
  
"If you only knew how much I love you," came the whisper as she walked out of the room, longing to go back and to breathe his musky scent that intoxicated her senses, making her unable to think straight.  
  
A solitary tear slid down and splashed onto the floor. Someone was pressed against the wall in the shadows, a yellowing piece of ancient-looking parchment in his hands, the original map.  
  
"If only you knew that I love you too," Remus Lupin breathed, tears now freely falling from his eyes.  
  
A/N: So, what do you think? Is it expandable? I think it could go a bit longer. R/R! Tell me k? 


	2. Late Night Confessions

If Only  
  
A/N: Oh look! 6 reviews! I think that's a record for me (. I've taken your suggestions and have decided to try to make it longer. I hope you guys like it. Here comes chapter 2! Enjoy!  
  
Hermione walked back to the Heads' rooms, staring intently at the photograph in her hand. If she couldn't get Professor Lupin, she'd at least be able to look at him everyday, in the comfort of her dormitory.  
  
She sighed and hugged the picture close to her heart.  
  
'Stop being silly, Lei, he's your professor for Pete's sake! You're only 17, he's probably 20 years older than you, like as if he'd think of you that way . . ." the tiny voice in her head said.  
  
She shook her head and continued walking, even though she fully understood the impossibility of a relationship with Remus, nothing could stop her tears from falling.  
  
All this while, Remus was following her, only a few feet away, watching her carefully. His heart shattered into a million pieces when he heard her soft sobs. He ached to reach out to her and hold her tight, to tell her how he felt about her.  
  
He admired Hermione for her intelligence and humility. She really was beautiful, but never believed it herself. He recalled sitting up at the professors' table, seeing boys' jaws dropping to the ground when she smiled. He himself hadn't been able to resist looking at her either.  
  
He had almost told her his true feelings for her when she had stayed back after class to talk to him about one of her assignments. He had instead decided against it, seeing that a student-professor relationship would be unethical. He hadn't known how she felt at the time and wasn't sure how she would take the blow.  
  
He continued to follow her watching her long chestnut tresses sway with every step. He yearned to reach out and run his fingers through her hair, and whisper words of comfort into her ear. Her whispered confession of her love for him played in his mind like a melodious tune, one that would be eternally stuck in his head.  
  
He let out a loud sigh, but froze when the angel in front of him came to an abrupt stop.  
  
Hermione had heard someone sigh and that someone was behind her. She stopped and grinned when she realized who it was. She recognized the person's scent, an alluring musk.  
  
She spun around and her heart leapt when she saw Remus Lupin, standing rooted to the ground. She tried to stop smiling, but it was wiped off when she heard what Professor Lupin had to say next.  
  
"I. . . I. . . Hermione, I saw you in my room just now, I heard every word you said."  
  
Hermione was horrified, but happy at the same time. "At least he knows how you feel about him now. You didn't even have to tell it to his face,' the voice in her head comforted. How would she be able to face him now? She bowed her head down, attempting to blink away the rapidly falling tears from her eyes.  
  
"Oh dear, Hermione, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just that, well, I think. . . I think I feel the same way about you," he blurted out quickly, not knowing what would happen next.  
  
Upon hearing this, Hemione flung herself towards Remus and sobbed into his chest. He rubbed her back awkwardly and charmed a cushy two-seater couch for them to sit on.  
  
When her sobs died down, she looked up and smiled apologetically at Remus for wetting his robes. He grinned back at her. He brushed the stray locks of wavy hair away from her face and stared deep into her eyes,  
  
She leaned in closer and her eyes fluttered shut. Remus placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her.  
  
"Hermione. . . I. . . " he started  
  
A/N: Uh oh! Cliffy! Bwahaha, evil me. Time to thank reviewers!  
  
Many thanks to: James Jago | Makalani Astral | Lady Insanity, Queen of All | melaniewilliamsandharrypotter | Meaghan | Stefanie14  
  
Thank you for the reviews! * Hands out a cauldron cake to each of the reviewers * Reviewers for this chapter get toothflossing stringmints!  
  
R/R! 


	3. Just Another Sad Love Story

If Only  
  
A/N: Wheeee! So many reviews! Thanks so much! Sorry I took so long but I was trying to decide the ending. This will be the last chapter folks. Afraid you might not like the ending, give it a chance anyway, ok? Enjoy!  
  
Five tiny fingers clasped around a longer one. A smile spread across Hermione's face as she played with her year old daughter.  
  
Terah Leigh's nose and eyes were identical to her father's, uniquely sharp. She had her mother's smile and soft tresses. Apparently, she had been the worst in the nursery. The nurses had told Hermione that she was a leader, making the rest of the nursery cry with just a little sob. Terah had spent her whole stay at the hospital in her mother's care.  
  
Flashback  
  
"Don't 'but, Mia' me! I carried this baby for nine months, the baby's name is Terah Leigh!" Hermione cried as she took in deep breaths.  
  
"You're in labour, Honey. Can two of you talk about this later?" came the soft voice of Mrs. Granger, hoping to calm her down.  
  
"No, we cannot! I'm not going to let this go until he agrees our daughter's name will be Terah Leigh!"  
  
Her husband leaned down kissed her forehead and kept silent as he followed Hermione, who was being wheeled into the delivery room.  
  
End Flashback  
  
She sighed and smiled as she recalled Remus' confession to her at Hogwarts, one of her happy memories. She had been so relieved, yet so nervous.  
  
Just then, the lock of the front door clicked. Terah's eyes lit up and she walked to the door, using a wall as support. She reached out her arms to her father for him to carry her and giggled when he swung her up into the air and carried her on his hip.  
  
"I wish you would be more careful with her. She's only a baby, if you haven't noticed yet," she scolded while embracing her husband into a tight hug. "I missed you."  
  
"C'mon Mia. You know Ti's strong. I missed you too," breathing in the scent of her hair.  
  
"No matter how strong she is, she's still so tiny. You have to be careful with her, Draco."  
  
Flashback  
  
She leaned in closer and her eyes fluttered shut. Remus placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her.  
  
"Hermione . . . I . . . " He started, "It. . . I guess it would never work out you know. You and me, the age gap between us is so big and I'm you Professor and you're my student. No one would accept us being together." He said quietly, hoping that the fact she couldn't hear him loud and clear would soften the blow.  
  
"I understand, Professor. I apologize. I'd better get on my way then."  
  
End Flashback  
  
Hermione blinked back a stray teardrop as the memories came flooding back to her. She sat in bed after dinner and clutched the yellowed photograph in her hands.  
  
"If only you had seen it before graduation. Before he'd proposed."  
  
Flashback  
  
They only had been dating for a year but they both felt deeply for each other. It was graduation and he had proposed. She had accepted. Everyone has accepted them as an item, except maybe those who didn't know, Remus Lupin was one.  
  
"Hermione, now that your graduating, you know. I was thinking, I've never felt like this about anyone before you. I really like you. Maybe we could go out now."  
  
"Oh, I suppose you didn't hear. Actually, I'm already engaged."  
  
She'd never forget how hurt he looked that day.  
  
End Flashback  
  
"I hate to see you this way, Remus. Hate to know that I was the one who made you this way. I just don't feel for you anymore."  
  
She told this to no one every single night.  
  
No one would know.  
  
But sometimes, she did hope that things would change.  
  
If only, if only he knew.  
  
A/N: This is pure bullshit. I dunno what to say. Really, it is bad. Flame me all you want, I can agree with anything you say. If you've stayed with me, thank you so much. Just review, flame, whatever. Yes, this is the end. Maybe I'll write another RL/HG someday. I just couldn't actually see them getting married and living fairytale like, not really interesting. Had to have a twist somewhere, even if it was crap. 


End file.
